The Drinking Was the Answer.
You already know what you've been doing. You know the anxiety comes first and the drink is the answer to the anxiety. And knowing that hasn't changed it. Here's why anxiety and addiction were never actually two separate problems, and what it takes to treat them as the one problem they are.
You're Off the Clock. Your Nervous System Isn't.
You're not on call right now. You know that. Someone else is primary, there's nothing coming in tonight. And you're still listening. Here's what sustained on-call availability actually does to a nervous system over time, and why you can't think your way back to off.